Partying Presbyterians

As a Presbyterian, there's a rather neurotic, obsessive-compulsive need within me to see everything done decently and in order. However, behind or beyond that, there's another part of me wanting to sweep away all the rules and the laws, the regulations and the dogma.

If you've ever been to a meeting of presbytery or synod or General Assembly, you know, for the most part, they're rather stern and sober gatherings. There may be moments of humour or levity, but they are only brief interruptions in the very serious matter of conducting the business of the church. Rules are quoted. Precedence is cited. Firm and severe speeches are made concerning the way in which God would have us move forward on this or that matter. The faith is defended with a sword of words - not necessarily "The Word", but nonetheless, lots and lots and lots of words.

I certainly hope Heaven or the Kingdom of God is not like a synod meeting that goes on for all eternity ...

Fortunately, I don't think it is. In fact, I feel it may well be the opposite.

In the parable we read today from the Gospel of Luke, Jesus spoke about what the Kingdom of Heaven will be like. He said it will be like a wedding banquet - a wedding feast ... the Kingdom of God will be like a party!

Perhaps you didn't know - maybe there are a lot of people who don't know, if you want to be a good Christian, one of the most important qualifications is to know how to enjoy a party and how to throw a party. It's probably not surprising you didn't see that in the list of qualifications for the Christian faith. We don't usually ask that question on New Member's Sunday. And certainly the Christian church with a history of crusades and inquisitions, heresy trials and excommunications, witch burnings and too many endless, boring meetings, has failed to communicate this "party mood" very well.

But if we listen to the life and ministry of Jesus, we may begin to see the joyful, festive, party mentality as integral to the life of faith.

You remember, Jesus said, "I am the bridegroom, and as long as you have the bridegroom around - You Party!"

And to the disappointment of many, Jesus never threw a party that was very exclusive. He had no regard for people's social status or accumulated net worth, no regard for their beauty or their power. The one who presides over this wedding feast says to his servants, "Invite everyone you find to the wedding banquet." It's a good party, and his only concern is "There aren't enough people here!"

And so who do they bring? The servants go into the streets and gather all whom they find, both good and bad fill the wedding hall as the guests of the king.

And so, of course, there are always people who don't like this approach to the Kingdom of Heaven. They don't like this "party" theology.

That's okay ... they're in good company. They were around in the time of Jesus, they were called the Pharisees ... and they are around today. They are the ones who, if we must turn this thing into a party, at least want an exclusive party with only the best people, and the best, most enlightened conversation, and the most expensive wines, and the most delicate and high class foods.

But most of the time, they don't want this thing called religion to be any kind of party at all. They want their religion to be stern and serious, critical and sober and grim.

They say to Jesus, "We're involved in this serious business of religion, and every time we turn around, you're having a party!"

You know what they said about Jesus? They said, "You're nothing but a wine drinker and a glutton! And what's even more important is, you don't even care who you party with!"

And so Jesus answered them back, and he says, "John came and he was serious. John was out there in the wilderness, out by the Jordan River, eating locusts and wild honey, and he was preaching, "You're all going to Hell - Go directly to Hell. Do not pass "Go". Do not collect $200. You're going to burn forever in Hell!"

Now that's serious!

Jesus says, "John came and he was serious ... and you didn't like him. I come and I party ... and you don't like me. You know what?" Jesus says, "I don't think anybody could please you."

Do you know people like that? I know people like that. And I even know a lot of them who are in the church … of course not this one!

But the Bible is full of parties. Every time you turn around Jesus is hosting a dinner. He starts out at the wedding feast in Cana of Galilee, where he turns the water into wine, and he continues to celebrate parties and tell stories of parties throughout his earthly ministry.

Now, of course, there is the wrong kind of party. You remember the story of the Prodigal Son, and how he takes off with his inheritance and blows it all on cheap liquor and loose living. It was a party that degraded himself and other people. It didn’t lead to fellowship and friendship and faith, but rather to despair and loneliness and poverty. At the low point in the story, this poor little Jewish boy, in a far off country is so hungry and abandoned, he wishes he could eat the food he's been hired to feed the pigs.

Yeah, not all parties are created equal, and we can get involved too much in the wrong type of party.

I remember being at a party one time and I went to the bathroom. The door was open, and there was this guy, down on his hands and knees ... and he wasn't praying. He had his head where a head was never ordained to be. And he didn't even have enough sense to know he'd overdone things a little. In between throwing up - he looked up at me and said, "Hey man! Great Party!"

Okay ...

We may overdo it sometimes with our parties. We may sometimes even have the wrong kind of party. Nonetheless, the most accurate analogy for the Kingdom of God, is that it will be a party. A party to end all parties. A party transcending all our earthly parties. A party where people will come together in friendship and faith - where we will build up one another and rejoice in our kinship as the beloved children of a kind and generous and forgiving God.

A colleague of mine had to go to speak at a conference in Honolulu. Not such a bad place to go for a conference.

But of course, you know if you go to a place like Hawaii from southern Ontario, one of the problems you'll have is you'll wake up at about three in the morning - the time difference.

He said, on the first night he was there, he woke up at 3 AM and couldn't get back to sleep. He was hungry and so he got up and went out wandering in search of food. Up a side street he found a "greasy spoon" diner.

He said he went in. There were no booths, just a row of stools. He sat down, but he didn't touch the menu. It was one of those plastic menus, and a thick layer of grease had piled up on it.

He said to me, "I knew if I opened it, something extraterrestrial would crawl out."

He said a fat guy came over and pulled a cigar out of his mouth and said, "What do you want?"

And he said, "I'll just have a cup of coffee and a doughnut."

He said, the waiter poured him a cup of coffee, and before he picked up the doughnut the waiter wiped his hand on his dirty, greasy, stained apron, and then he picked up the doughnut.

My friend said, "I hate that. And so,” he goes on, “here I am eating this dirty doughnut and drinking my coffee at three thirty in the morning, when into this place comes a whole group of prostitutes ... about eight or nine of them, and it's a small place."

He said, they sat on either side of him, and he just tried to disappear.

He said the one next to him was particularly boisterous and said to her neighbour, "You know, tomorrow's my birthday. I'm going to be thirty-nine - thirty-nine years old ..."

So the friend said, "What do you want me to do? Do you want me to sing "Happy Birthday?" You want a gift? You want a birthday cake? Maybe you want a birthday party?"

The friend say, "Why do you have to be so nasty? Why do you have to be so nasty!? I don't expect anything!" And then she added, "I haven't had a birthday party in my whole life ... I don't expect to have one now ..."

Apparently that did it to for my colleague. As soon as they left, he called Harry, the waiter, over and said, "They come in here every night?"

"Yeah."

"The one next to me?"

"That's Agnes."

"Well, tomorrow night is Agnes' birthday. What do you say Harry, why don't you and I throw a birthday party for her, right here in the diner, tomorrow night."

"Mister," he says, "you're a genius! Brilliant! Brilliant!"

The waiter calls his wife out, "Mildred! This guy here wants to throw a birthday party for Agnes!"

The waiter’s wife came out and took his hand and said, "Mister, you probably won't understand this, but Agnes is a good woman ... a kind woman. And this is a good thing you're doing."

This minister said, "Can I decorate the place?"

"To your heart's content!"

He said, "I'm going to bring a birthday cake!"

But, much to my friend's dismay, Harry said, "Oh no! The cake's my thing!"

He got there the next morning at 2:30 AM. And he decorated the place from one end to the other - streamers, balloons, the whole bit! He made a sign that said "Happy Birthday Agnes" and hung it on the mirror behind the counter. The place was ready.

Mildred, who'd done the cooking, had got the word out on the street, so that by 3:15 AM, every prostitute in Honolulu was in the place!

Wall to wall prostitutes ... and this weird, off-the-wall minister.

And then at exactly 3:30, Agnes and her friends walk in off the street. And everybody's ready, and they all yell out, "Happy Birthday Agnes!"

He said, "We went crazy."

He said, "I'd never seen a woman look so stunned in all my life ..."

Her knees buckled. Her friends had to hold her up as they all started to sing, "Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Agnes ... Happy Birthday to you!"

And Agnes started to tremble. And they had to sit her down on a stool. And they brought out the birthday cake. And when she saw the birthday cake, she lost it.

Harry just stood there. And then he pulled the cigar out of his mouth and said, "Cut it out Agnes. Just cut it out! Blow out the candles - blow 'im out!"

She tried, but she couldn't do it. So Harry blew out the candles ...

Then Harry gave her a knife and said, "Cut the cake!"

She sat there for a long moment, and then she said, "Harry? Harry, I don't want to cut the cake. Can you understand I would really like to keep the cake?"

She said, "Is that okay if I don't cut the cake?"

Harry said, "It's you're cake ..."

Agnes said, "What I'd really like to do is take it home and show it to my mother. Could I do that?"

"Well, sure ..."

She stood up, and the minister said, "Now?"

"I live two doors down. Let me take the cake and show it to my mother. I promise I'll be right back."

And he said, she picked up the cake like it was the Holy Grail. And she made her way through the group and went out the door. And as the door swung shut, there was dead silence.

My friend said, "We were all standing there, frozen in our places … I didn't know what to say, so I turned to the group and said, "What do you say ... we pray?""

He said to me, "It does seem a little weird looking back on it. A bunch of prostitutes and a minister leading a prayer meeting in a greasy spoon diner in Honolulu at 3:38 AM ..."

But he said, "It was the right thing. And I prayed that Jesus would deliver her and make her new again, and lift her up again, and deliver her from the dirty old men who traded her money for sex."

And he said, "When I finished my prayer, Harry leaned over the counter and said, "Hey, you didn't tell me you're a preacher! What kind of church do you preach in?"

He said to me, God must have been with him, because he was able to come up with just the right words.

He said, "I preach for a church that throws birthday parties for prostitutes at 3:30 in the morning."

And Harry looked back at him and said, "No you don't! No you don't! Cause I would join a church like that!"

Wouldn't we all ... wouldn’t we all …