Setting the Bar too High

Almost forty years ago, while serving my first church in Kirkland Lake – northern Ontario - I received a call from the Mission Superintendent for Ontario — the Reverend Calvin Elder. Cal phoned to talk with me about this new church starting out in the village of Unionville.

I didn't really know where Unionville was, and I suppose I sounded less than enthusiastic about the prospect of considering this small group of people meeting in a community centre as my next big move.

He said to me, "Just meet with the Interim Moderator. Listen to what he has to say."

Because I respected Cal, I reluctantly agreed to this meeting.

I met the Interim Moderator at Trinity York Mills Presbyterian Church at Bayview and Shepherd. We talked for a few minutes and then he said to me, "Why don't I drive you around Unionville. Just see what the place looks like." With a little arm twisting and protest, I agreed to this, but I said, "I don't want to meet with any of the people in the church. I'll just have a look."

"Of course," he said.

We drove north to Unionville and we toured that pretty little community – really just a suburb of Toronto.

I said to him, "Well, it looks like a nice place, but I'm not really interested in coming here. So maybe we should just head back."

"Oh!" he exclaimed, "we're passing by the McEwen's home. He's the Clerk of Session, and she's a wonderful member of the church. Do you mind if we just drop in for a moment to say hello."

"No," I said, "I don't want to go in. If I go in I'll meet some wonderful people and then I’ll feel trapped into coming."

"Oh, we'll just drop in for a moment ..."

As we walked into the home, there were fresh baked chocolate chip cookies coming out of the oven and a fresh pot of coffee brewing, just like they'd known we were coming ... as of course they did. It was all planned out ahead of time. I was ambushed!

The next thing you know I'm being interviewed by the Search Committee, then preaching for the call ... and as they say, "the rest is history ..."

I spent the next twelve years serving that community of people - worshiping, meeting, praying together, and building a church.

It was a good twelve years ... and I remember the first Sunday I led them in worship. The little community centre was packed with people, and we sang hymns and listened to the word of God, and then afterwards we had a church lunch together. Of course as Presbyterians, there's always food involved.

Everybody seemed to have a good time except for one man. He waited to talk with me. He was very serious. He had a deep and powerful voice. He had an objection about how l had handled that first Sunday.

I asked him what it was, and he said, "The scripture you read."

I said, "Well, what was wrong with it."

He said, "Bad choice ..."

I said, "Well, those were the words of Jesus."

To which he replied, "There are lots of words from the Bible that are out of keeping with the spirit of our times. It's just out of touch. What people expect from the church nowadays is not a lot of talk about cross bearing and loving enemies. They want to come to church to feel better, be a part of a group that will help them be successful. In a case or two they may need some counselling, but otherwise we get together to mutually enjoy each other. So knock off with the "ought" and "must" and "should."

I said, "Why?"

And he said, "It sets the bar too high. If you keep doing it, you'll never get a church built here in Unionville."

He said, "Oh, there will always be these little churches meeting in community centers, where people get together once a week to make each other miserable, and if you're not careful, you'll be one of those."

"Don't be out of touch with the spirit of the times."

He kept coming. He was a sincere and good person, but he never joined the church — never became a member. He continued to come, but he wouldn't put his name on the line.

He objected to those words – the Gospel passage for this morning … the same scripture I read the first Sunday I was in Unionville.

Jesus, according to Luke, had prayed on the mountain that night. He prayed all night ... and the next morning from among the disciples who followed him, he selected twelve and called them apostles — to be with him and to go out in his name and minister.

After he selected them, Luke says Jesus went down to a level place. Matthew has this same teaching, but he has Jesus on a mountain because he elevates Jesus to the new Moses bringing the law of God to the earth. On the other hand, Luke has Jesus come down on a level place – Jesus is one of us …

Around him gather three circles — the twelve immediately around him, the Apostles; and then the larger group of disciples from whom they were selected; and then the third ring around him, those who are interested in what Jesus has to say, but not quite ready to make any commitment or confession.

And to them all he says, "If you love people who love you, big deal! — what credit is that to you? Sinners do that. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? Sinners do that. If you lend to people who lend to you, what credit is that to you? Sinners do that. You are to love and do good and to lend to those who will give you absolutely no thanks, no gift in return, no positive response, no love to you, no kindness to you ..."

Why?

Because that's the way God is ... that's the way God is!

If you want to be my follower, you do not let your life be dictated by the people around you.

The people who reject you determine your life? No!

The people who accept you determine your life? No!

Enemy affect my life ... No!

Friends choose my life ... No!

The people who love you... the people who hate you, do not create your character.

Your character is created by the character of God ...

Now, what is the character of God? "God is kind to the ungrateful and to the selfish" — that's what Jesus says ...

And my critic in worship that first Sunday in Unionville, bless his heart, said, "Now, don't start off setting the bar too high. You'll never get a church built. Stay in touch with the times. Don't get out there in never-never land where nobody lives.

God is kind to everybody ...

You're to be children of God ...

That was simply too much for him!

Once in a while in a sermon, I like to throw out a Greek word, just to prove I went to school …

The New Testament was written in Greek, and in the expression repeated three times "what credit is that to you" the word translated "credit" is everywhere else in the New Testament translated as "grace."

What grace is that? If you love those who love you, where's the grace? If you do good to those who do good 'to you, where's the grace? If you lend to those who lend to you, where's the grace?

And this is the principle, "We are to be gracious as God is gracious."

The final word of grace in anyone's life is to make a person gracious ...

"But don't set the bar too high! Stay in touch with reality ..."

It's an amazing sentence, isn't it? God is gracious to the unkind and the selfish.

It speaks to the depth of God's love for humanity. When I read this Scripture — deep and profound and full of God's love and grace.

One author calls it "the language of sacred excess."

But I remember what the man said, "Don't set the bar too high."

He was saying, "It's a marvellous passage, but that's not where anybody lives."

You cannot be gracious in this world, because relationships are painful and awkward and difficult — some relationships are so challenging, so high maintenance, you just can't be gracious.

A friend of mine who lives down in the United States told me one day he went to the post office in his town and some prisoners were working on cleaning up the sidewalks. They sometimes use prisoners in the States for these kind of jobs.

There was a guard. The prisoners were finishing up their work on the sidewalk, and when my friend came out of the post office, he noticed how nice everything looked.

So he said, "Thank you fellas. It looks really nice. You do a good job."

And the guard said, "You don't thank them - they're prisoners."

It's hard to be gracious in a world like ours ...

Sometimes in the Victoria Times Colonist, I read "Ask Lisi." It's the successor to Ann Landers. It's an advice column for people who can't sort out the problems in their relationships on their own. So they write to Lisi ...

A lot of them are questions about weddings ...

"I'm having my wedding in three months time. My mother and her sister have not talked in 12 years. My mother says, if I invite her sister, she won't come ..."

"My wedding is coming up soon, and two of my bridesmaids are fighting with each other. They say I have to choose which one I want because they won't stand together at the front of the church.

“Lisi, what do I do ..."

It's hard to be gracious in a world like ours. It's tough to be gracious ...

It's complicated ...

Where's the grace ...

The man at my first service in Unionville said, "Don't set the bar too high."

And I said, "Well, I'm not setting the bar!"

And he said, "Yeah ... well you picked that scripture. There are other scriptures."

I said, "That's true."

He said, "Get real, or you'll never get this church built!"

What I said that day … I say today. It makes no sense and ultimately it is of no value for us to think of the grace of God as simply something to wallow around in and feel good like a warm bath. To talk about being saved by the grace of God - "Grace covers all of our sins!"

It's true! It's true! ... but that's not all that's true ...

It is also said, "If you only love people who love you ... give to people who give to you ... do good to people who do good to you ... where is the grace ... where's the grace?"

You're to be as God is – gracious … gracious …

That came home to me a few years ago ...

It was a Friday morning when the phone rang. The woman on the other end of the line identified herself. She had a vague connection with the church. Her two children had been baptized there some 20 years before.

And then she told me … she had just received word that her 19 year old son had been knifed to death in a feud over a young woman. That phone call was the beginning of a long journey for her … and for me …together - through the anger and the pain, the funeral and the criminal trial ... and the despair, "How could God let this happen to my son?"

And it also - for this grieving mother - became a journey of faith.

She returned to the church. She and I had long conversations. We prayed together, and by the miracle of God's grace, she was able to rebuild her life.

The anger and the hatred were not triumphant. She established an annual fundraising event entitled "From a Mother's Heart." The money raised was used to help other young people to enrol in the Brampton Theatre School — a school her son had attended in his love for the dramatic arts.

She was able to let go of the need for vengeance, and found the power to forgive. As she said to me, "Grief can take you really far down into darkness. I have experienced evil in my life, but in my faith, I have found something positive ... something that prevents me from falling into that darkness."

She found grace … grace …

Jesus said, "You are to be as God is — you are to be gracious ..."

The man said to me, "You don't want to set the bar too high ..."

Yes I do ... yes I do ...